Small Talk: Working the Cocktail Party

WITH PLEASURE, PURPOSE AND PANACHE

By Susan RoAne, The Mingling Maven®

THE OFFICE PARTY

The office party or company party is a different kind of animal from the no-host reception before a professional association meeting. It is business, despite the trappings that may confuse us - music, formal invitations, dancing, drinking, etc.

If clients are in attendance, you are also a host - whether or not you own the company or firm. One year I was asked to give a presentation for members of a law firm because they hosted a party for clients and potential clients. And, the attorneys talked to each other! A costly waste of time and money. Act like a host and your guests will be welcomed.

Remember the cautions about alcohol consumption, appropriateness of conversation and humor, and the need for business greeting etiquette even if your co?workers have forgotten them and are running around the typing pool with lampshades on their heads. That's no way to work a room.

One of the most fun parties was thrown by my buddy, Guy Kawasaki, for a celebration of garage.com. Guy, author of Rules for Revolutionaries, was featured in the San Jose Mercury News as the man who "works" Silicon Valley...to which, I would add, "like a mensch*." He was the most congenial host, spending time with each guest, the garage.com staff and the venture capital gang. He made sure we all had T-shirts, books, lots of food and fun!

The Office Christmas/Holiday Party is notorious for this type of behavior. I've heard many stories of inebriation, sickness, flirtations, and dalliances that have lost promotions and even jobs. Even the office holiday party is business. Go to have a good time in the spirit of the holiday season, but don't exceed the bounds of taste or reason. But, do attend.

Dancing and relaxing are definitely not out of line. But, leave the "dirty dancing" for a non-business occasion. (If the event is a dinner-dance, you may want to take a few dance lessons if you are not comfortable on the dance floor.) This is a good chance to chat with colleagues in a less pressured setting. It may also be a great time to give kudos to those who have helped you, or who have been particularly encouraging or supportive.

ROANE'S REMINDERS

The cocktail party - social, business, or fundraiser - is a perfect opportunity to meet new friends and new contacts, to reconnect with familiar faces, and to have a good time.

REMEMBER:

BRING:

• Your business cards
• Your smile
• Your focus
• Your sense of humor
• Your wit, wisdom and interest in others
• Conversation starters: lapel pins, ties, jewelry, hats - when appropriate
• Appropriate manners fit for the occasion

OBSERVE:

• The layout of the room
• Gifts of gab (and say something)
• The people, the groups, the flow

LOSE:

• Prejudgements
• Snobbery
• Self-focus