How To Work a Room® | Author / SpeakerHire Susan


The Great Return Debate or Debacle

So many business writers and self –appointed gurus pride themselves on telling others that “returning all phone calls and emails in a short amount of time is a critical key for their success”. And they recommend that we also do the same.
On some level it makes sense to be responsive to our networks, our colleagues and the market. Not enough can be said on behalf of parents and relatives who are still waiting for last year’s calls and texts to be returned. (Simply put, CALL HOME!) ☎️

But I’ve learned that there does exist A Point of NO RETURN… for calls or emails or texts or notes and even gifts. HERESY you may think! But I stand firm.
The phone message that sounds like a tele-marketing call because only the name and number and no message is left— does not require a callback. Or the call from someone with whom you already have had dealings and find them slightly sleazy, annoying or just unpleasant. Or the call may be from a former friend who only initiates contact when needing something.
I don’t respond to unsolicited offers to be my social media manager, SEO or website designer, book-writing coach and book “launch” expert. That last one is someone who not only just “blankets” the internet but also did NO homework on recipients. On occasion, I’ve sent the book coach and launch set a “no thank you, my books have done quite well” response. But that’s rare and only when I’m in a special mood.

“Relative” Obscurity

I have a relative who has her secretary screen her calls and does not answer her phone at home. She simply and arbitrarily ignores messages. That works for her in business. However, the relatives are tired of this and have stopped wasting their time calling her to stay in touch—which may have been her goal.
The same with email responses. If you know you want no further dealings with a person, don’t respond.

A Dining DIS Pleasure

On a business trip to speak in Toronto, a colleague invited me to join her and a friend to have dinner. It started out as an interesting evening of good, lively conversation. BUT it deteriorated when the second bottle of wine turned MS. Guided into Ms Inebriated. The wine dulled her filters and sharpened her tongue. She was abrasive, jealous, rude and insulting. She ignored my subtle comments as she proceeded to repeat her offensive statements no less than three times. The silver lining is that her insults made me lose my appetite so I didn’t overeat.

Link With a Loser??? Never

She has emailed me and even sent a linkedin invite but there was no apology. She only wanted one more referral for her business.One doesn’t have to be a referral expert to figure out that she didn’t get an answer to her “ASK”. Could I have given her feedback on her behavior on the phone or in person or online? Yes. Did I? Of course not. It would have wasted my time and energy. Often, the transgressors of good taste and good behavior are clueless when hearing a reaction to their words and deeds. There are a few lessons 1. Don’t offend a guest whether they’re a referral source or not. 2. If it loosens your tongue and dulls the filters in your brain, don’t order the second bottle of wine. 3. BE NICE.

A subsequent email indicated MS-Guided would be in my part of the country and wanted to meet with me. Truth be told, I would never spend another minute with a person so devoid of social savvy, manners and self-awareness. How could I trust she would not go off into another insulting diatribe? I repeat: The person who is a repeat offender would not ‘get’ the feedback about the impact of their behavior and words.

And that brings us full circle. We know when we reach that “enough is enough” point and we need to honor it. The voice in our stomach will guide us and save us time, energy and aggravation. When behaviors, deeds and words of others just don’t work for us— and may work against us— that’s the perfect message for us to heed.
That message rings loudly and clearly. It’s a point of NO Return.

©2018SusanRoAne Reprint only with the permission of author
twitter: @SusanRoAne Susan RoAne is indemand speaker, podcast guest and career & networking coach.