Small Talk: Susan RoAne's DOs and DON'Ts for MERRY HOLIDAY MINGLING

It's the time of year again for office parties, holiday parties...and the opportunity to turn your small talk into big opportunities. My tips can help make any social conversation you have during the holidays not only merry, but meaningful.

For more on this topic, see my Working the Cocktail Party article.

Do go to holiday parties. Say 'yes' to invitations.... especially if your career is uncertain. And, follow these conversation tips:

DO...

1. Schmooze, Don't Lose: Small talk leads to big talk. People have more in common now than ever.  So talk to people whom you don't know as well as those you do.

2. Focus Your Conversation on the Event: The season is the reason. You know the host or sponsoring organization. So, bring your O.A.R.

Observe -- The venue, food or entertainment or the charity that will receive the donations. "What wonderful ambience! And, the food is fabulous." "I am so glad that we are collecting toys for the Children's Cancer Society."

Ask -- The host or a guest: "Have you special plans for the holidays? Do you plan to drive or fly?" (That question may start a very interesting conversation).

Reveal -- Your ideas, thoughts, plans: " My plans to be on the slopes for the holidays didn't pan out.  We decided that we wanted to have a family gathering so all the siblings are coming in to be together."

3. Act Like A Host: Be interested; pay attention.  Bonus tip:  Make it your goal to make every person comfortable with you.

4. Treat Spouses/Guests (yours and theirs) With Respect: Introduce them with enthusiasm.

5. Remember That Holiday Company Parties Are Still Business: Dress and act appropriately and graciously.

DON'T...

1. Don't Drink Excessively even if it is an open bar.

2. Don't Assume Everyone Celebrates Christmas. (And if you don't, be gracious about the error.)

3. Don't Touch Inappropriately: keep hands (and lips) to yourself.

4. Don't Have Your Party Go Up In Smoke: Light up ... the party ... not a cigar or cigarette.

5. Don't Kvetch, Complain, Ridicule, Compete, Correct, Interrogate or Brag as these are conversation killers.

Based on Susan's books How To Work A Room,What Do I Say Next? and her new ebook available at barnesand noble.com  NETWORKING: Beyond The Buzzword.

I composed a rhyme for a good reason
To wish you the joys of the season.
I want to send energy and much light
To ensure that your holidays be merry and bright.

RoAne, a bestselling author, you may assume.
My "first born" book, How To Work a Room...
Much in demand for many a meeting
Because events begin with a smile and a greeting...

Of colleagues, clients, cronies and strangers
In conventional settings which present NO dangers.
Because he (or she) who hesitates is truly lost
Shyness, so common, is a tempest to be tossed...

And it is! with humor, how-to , and practical tips
Many true stories; a few Freudian slips.
The results: people no longer are vexed.
They'll always know what to say next!

May you celebrate the holidays with much joy
Whether it's a "ho- ho -ho" or an "Oy- Oy -Oy".
So sip a cup of eggnog, hear the sleigh bells jingle.
May all your celebrations be ....a MERRY MINGLE.