MENTORS Who Make a Difference*

By Susan RoAne, The Mingling Maven®

Having mentors can be a real boost to any career. However, finding the best mentor can be like the quest for the Holy Grail. Wouldn't it be great if you had a person who could help you master the skills, add the personal touch by introducing you to whatever you need to know and whomever you should meet, and knew the ins, outs and intricacies we sometimes call politics? Life in the workplace – and in life in general – is so much easier with that kind of support, encouragement and education..

"Though I wasn't a completely new kid on the block, my mentor helped me understand the benefits and risks related to working in different areas of my former company because she understood a lot of the dynamics that I didn't," said Kayla Cohen, a Chicago-based organization development consultant for a Fortune 100 company. Kayla returns the support she received and now mentors others in her current company, other organizations and in her network of colleagues and coworkers.

According to Michael Korda, author and former Editor-in-Chief of Simon and Schuster, and one of my favorite founts of wisdom, "Mentoring can be seen as part of man's instinctive survival mechanism. Personal survival can depend on the same process. An older hunter needed a young man's strength for help and protection. Mentoring can be considered an early form of retirement insurance." Or it can ensure you don't have to be retired early.

I was lucky enough to have Sally Livingston as my femtor as I transitioned from teacher to entrepreneur to keynote business speaker and consultant. It's a term she originally coined in 1984 when I thanked her for mentoring me. "Susan, I can't be your mentor. I'm your femtor!" And, she was the best.

The Buddy System

The workplace isn't the first time you may have had, and may have given, that kind of help. It started when you were a school buddy or camp buddy, either paired with someone older and, later, someone younger. It was the Big Buddy's job to help you adjust to the new environment by teaching you "the ropes'' (the swings, the dodge ball court, the best swim coach, and so on). While you were the beneficiary of insights (which yard monitors NOT to rile or which camp sites to avoid), your older buddy would get to demonstrate responsibility and do coaching, caretaking, teaching and encouraging.

While not a formalized process, I'm sure you've helped, encouraged and coaxed others. It may be that you've helped your parents or neighbors hook up their computers or learn how to use email or you've coached a youth soccer team. Or you've helped a colleague with a database program or assisted a friend who was moving or passed on some information and leads to someone who benefited. Now, it's your turn to be mentored and assisted.

If we're lucky, we have mentors early in life. They're the people we meet: our coaches, teachers, parents and counselors. Jeff Munks, whom I met when he was the Deputy Executive Learning Officer for the United States Navy and he hired me to speak to the new admirals, found his mentor early on. "I was very athletic and played a lot of sports. Many of our coaches were members of the Palo Alto police force. During the turbulent 60s, I witnessed these terrific guys, who were father figures, on one side of police barriers and my peers on the other.

"It troubled me so much that I wrote my congressman. I received a letter from him telling me to show up for a meeting with Captain Guy Wathan of the Palo Alto police force. And, he advised me to wear a suit and tie. I did.

"The meeting was on my 16th birthday and it was life changing. Captain Wathan told me if I still felt the same way when I was 18 to come see him and he'd have a job for me. And, he did. He was a mentor who helped give me the set of values I've carried with me through several careers."

That a mentor is only as good as the protégé who takes the guidance to heart cannot be overemphasized. Five decades later, Jeff Munks continues to credit his mentor for the lessons that he learned. There are several players to credit:

1. Jeff, for being the 16-year-old who wrote his congressman to find out what could be done about this confrontation.
2. The congressman for arranging the meeting with Captain Wathan
3. Captain Wathan for seeing the potential in a 16-year-old concerned citizen. Seeing potential and nurturing it are what the best mentors do. That's also the mission of Big Brothers/Big Sisters, a national organization that matches volunteer mentors with young people who need role models with whom they can share quality time. The exposure to new and different activities by those who nurture the youngsters' interests and their potential is a formalized buddy system that's invaluable.

The buddy system is still in place in many companies and associations. The new employee or member is paired with a seasoned employee or member who is supposed to show the newbie the proverbial ropes and is an as-needs advisor. Their exchanges take place both online and in person, where the connection and chemistry build the long-term relationship that benefits both the protégé and the mentor!

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©2012SusanRoAne Reprint only with the permission of author susan@susanroane.com

*Based on The Secrets of Savvy Networking (Warner) and Face to Face:How To Reclaim the Personal Touch in a Digital World (Fireside)

Follow Susan RoAne at http://www.twitter.com/susanroane

Susan RoAne, AKA The Mingling Maven® is an in-demand keynote speaker, networking expert and best selling author of How To Work a Room and Face To Face: How To Reclaim The Personal Touch in A Digital World.