The Grapevine Is Still a Goldmine

By Susan RoAne, The Mingling Maven®

Some things don't change. The pro gossip versus the no gossip issue has gone on for decades. Some people eschew it and others understand that gossip is part of conversation. It's shared information, and that's NOT inherently BAD. It's the vicious, untrue spreading of rumors that's indefensible. I first wrote about gossip and the grapevine for the original San Francisco Examiner "Career Series" and have followed the frenzy and the subsequent iterations of coverage in magazines, newspapers and even on national television. The May/June 2010 issue of Psychology Today featured an article on "How To Be a Good Gossip," by Emily Anthes who writes of the positive effects of gossip serving as a source of information and bonding.

Prick Up Your Ears

Whenever I hear someone discount the "grapevine" and/or gossip, my ears prick up. I continue to listen very carefully to their following commentary as it's a red flag for me. You see, most of the people who stridently lambaste the grapevine and gossip are often the very people who contribute to it. Or they're completely out of touch with the reality of their various worlds.

"Gossip teaches us how to behave, keeps us connected to one another and weeds out liars and cheats. Nearly two-thirds of adult conversation is about people who aren't in the room. Without these indirect evaluations of other people's behavior, society would fall apart" (Jennifer Drapkin, Psychology Today, November/December 2005, p. 56). Whether we're talking about a person arrested for a DUI or the colleague who kindly brings a casserole when we're ill, we're sharing these indirect evaluations.

The grapevine of gossip receives a tremendous amount of bad press, much of which is not warranted. In fact, it's a powerful resource for information as well as a career aid. (In my Chicago neighborhood, the news traveled through our "Concord Grapevine.") According to Marilyn Moats Kennedy, author of the classic, Office Politics: Seizing Power Wielding Clout (Follett Publishing, Chicago, 1980), the grapevine is nothing more than an informal communications network. That's true in our personal life, as well as in our work life.

As I am editing this article, I'm listening to music of good old Marvin Gaye who is serenading me with his version of "I Heard It Through The Grapevine." I sing along as I write, inspired by one of my favorites. Confession: I'm from the Alice Roosevelt Longworth School (Teddy's daughter): "If you have nothing nice to say, sit by me." Those who never share items, tidbits and news just aren't as interesting or fun as those who do.

Gripe Juice Management

Savvy people realize how important informal information is. Management experts now agree with research results: the grapevine can provide you with a great deal of useful information about your business network, especially rumors and opinions, as well as facts of the goings-on in your professional or personal circles.

Hot Top Tip: Absolutely avoid listening to or passing on vicious, unsubstantiated rumors

People needn't refuse to deal with the grapevine. Nor should they consider gossip to be bad, irrelevant or beneath them. Nor is it idle chatter for which busy, hard-working people do not have time.

In The Know

My Concord Grapevine has kept me in touch and informed about my long-time grammar and high school friends. I've learned when to send notes of congratulation, to pick up the phone to give support or when to send a condolence card. As my friends' children grew up and started out in the workplace, I could share a lead or referral; and, my grapevine was there for me when my books were published. And, when my parents passed away, the grapevine spread the news, because many of my long-time pals knew them. The calls and cards of condolence were precious to me.

Through our grapevines, the gossip may yield us information of who is moving, who is marrying and who is making a career change. We may learn who would need a new roommate just at the time our lease is up. Gossip is often casual conversation that is oftem known as schmoozing.

Convertible Conversation

Through "shared news" I learned that Lauren won a Miata for being Macy's one millionth West Coast customer. And that she already had a car and wanted to sell the red, 5-speed, convertible with a black ragtop. I'm guessing you figured out that I bought it. If Marsha didn't learn this tidbit from Lauren and share it with me at Jenni's graduation, I wouldn't be the proud owner of a car that barely holds one grocery bag and one friend. Gossip traveled through the grapevine and Lauren sold me a car she didn't want and I bought the car of my midlife dreams! And, it all happened through an incidental, face-to-face, small-talk, grapevine-like conversation.

Bonding Over Buzz

At the workplace, not partaking in or being privy to or paying attention to the office and professional grapevine is a flat out mistake. You could have the opportunity to forge workplace bonds. In an USA Today article by Stephen Milloti (November 15, 2002), he cites research of Rutgers University professor, Dr. Herbert Strean, "Basically, [gossip] creates bonding . . . and heightens connectedness between people."

Hot Tips:

• Eighty percent of information in the office grapevine is business-related office politics.
• Gossip can be an intentional leak of information that you should know.
• Being a loner, rather than a team player.
• Conveying a superior attitude about the grapevine could eliminate your sources of information.
• Busy people aren't necessarily hard working. Smart people make time to manage their careers. Cultivating sources of information makes sense. We're then in a position to make informed choices based on data learned from the network.

Being connected to colleagues, co-workers and clients contributes to collaboration, communication and career satisfaction. So, to stay in the know, be sure to be part of the water cooler conversation that we call gossip.

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©2012SusanRoAne Reprint only with the permission of author susan@susanroane.com

Susan RoAne, an in-demand keynote speaker, is the author of How To Work A Room, What Do I Say Next? and How To Create Your Own Luck. She is the person who created the tipping point on the term, SCHMOOZE and is The Mingling Maven® who teaches people how to make small talk that yields big rewards. You can find her at 415 461 3915 or susan@susanroane.com.