The Downside of Saying NO

By Susan RoAne, The Mingling Maven®

The downside of saying NO is whatever was going to happen serendipitously...never will. How often do we say 'yes' to something that we are not that sure of ---and something unplanned and unanticipated that is good--- occurs? The first time I agreed to go rappelling I couldn't believe that I said yes. What ever was I thinking??? Yet that experience proved to be one I value as it was an adventure, gave me a sense of accomplishment and I won't do it again because I did it. And I have the photos to prove it!

My first attempt to bake traditional egg bread from scratch had me scratching my head in disbelief and frustration. When the challah turned out to be delicious, my sense of accomplishment was at an all time high. After all, these were the breads both of my grandmothers baked and the aroma that wafted through my kitchen took me back to their kitchens and to them. I "kneaded" to know I could do it and I have never done it since. After all, entrepreneurs who own bakeries need my support!

The first time I said "yes" to my principal's request to address the school board of San Francisco in a three minute presentation was to save a student program, I was soooooo nervous. I practiced those three minutes intermittently for three weeks. My stomach experienced a WWE Smack Down and my heart was having the same palpitation attacks that my mother swore her children gave her.

But the results were two-fold. We saved the program and the feedback on my three minutes was so complimentary and so strong, I knew I could speak for audiences and persuade, inspire and inform them. I later had the opportunity to attend an school district event and told the former principal who asked me to give that three minute speech that it was his request and belief in me as an advocate that started my career as a professional speaker. He thanked me and hugged me. I am so grateful to Leonard Flynn for asking me to do something outside of my comfort level. That I took the opportunity to tell him of his role in my new career is something I will always cherish.

Unbeknownst to me, Leonard was ill and died of cancer two weeks later. I almost said "no" to him and almost declined to go to the event which he attended. Had I said declined to attend, I never would have thanked the man who gave me the gentle nudge that steered me onto this path.

My Leonard Lesson: Saying "no" may save some time but saying "yes" opens a world of possibilities and promise

. People who create their own luck have these traits in common:

1. They talk to strangers

2. They make small talk

3. They allow themselves to stray off the chosen path (perhaps having 2 diverse careers).

4. They exit situations (jobs, relationships, conversations) GRACIOUSLY

5. They say YES when they want to say no… and open door of opportunity.

And they hold that door open for others.

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©2011SusanRoAne Reprint only with the permission of author susan@susanroane.com