NETWORKING FAQs to Mind your Ps and Qs

By Susan RoAne, The Mingling Maven®

I'm often asked questions by clients, audience members and interviewers about the mystery, misery, and challenges of networking.

1. Isn't networking the same as working a room?
NO. Working a room (mingling) is step one. You need to be able to go to events, meet, greet, connect and converse with others. There are some people who are GREAT at the meeting and greeting but they don't follow up with people they meet. Consequently their business networking suffers.

There are those who are great at follow-up, referring and matching people. Yet they are reluctant to go to events full of strangers and find them daunting. These are two separate yet interrelated skills. To be able to work rooms and follow up with people builds a solid base for referrals and a business network.

2. Isn’t networking really using people?
No. Networking is "utilizing" resources, ideas, contacts and information. However, there are those users whose behavior gives the process a bad name. But if, on balance, you are also giving, sharing, supporting … that's not using others.

3. What if I don’t have a network?
Everyone has a network. You were born into one, and you have them from schools, neighborhoods, jobs, hobbies; every phase of life. Take the time to identify people past and present. Facebook and LinkedIn may also help you do that.

4. How do I get involved with networking groups if I am shy?
You are not alone. 93% of us self-identify as shy. It's likely that most of the people in associations, clubs, personal and professional organizations feel the same way. Be sure to join professional groups as well as virtual groups on FaceBook and LinkedIn.

TO OVERCOME SHYNESS:

• Decide to work through shyness.
• Observe outgoing people.
• Note their behaviors.
• Emulate them.

5. How can I get more comfortable in groups?
Practice. Join a book club, running club, volunteer for a non profit organization in your community or volunteer for committees and projects.

6. I have horrible handwriting and can't imagine writing a handwritten note.
A "thank you" note is rarely graded for penmanship.

When you have been done a kindness that deserves a note (not an email, poke or text), take your time, plan your words, and write slowly. (A handwritten note is the consummate "personal touch" that shows you took the time to acknowledge in a memorable manner.)

7. Isn’t an e-mail "thank you" sufficient?
For a wedding gift (or any gift), that depends on the recipient. Do they only communicate on-line? To acknowledge advice, ideas, support — an e-mail could be sufficient. But, what is more memorable is an e-mail showing instant appreciation followed by a handwritten note.

8. How can I get people to return my e-mails (or calls)?

• Leave an interesting, upbeat, engaging voicemail message.
• Write a fun or witty subject line in the e-mail that gets attention.
• Never send spam.
• Think about your message before you place the call.
• Be sure you are smiling as you speak.

And the real answer is that most of us are very busy. Some people have forgotten how to respond and/or don't think to do it. Harsh as it seems, some people just are NOT interested in pursuing further contact.

9. How can I get my card into the hands of a decision–maker?
When you meet and have conversed with that "decision-maker," ask for his/her card — politely. "May I have your card?" Write a mnemonic device on the back to help you remember the person and his/her comments.

A great phrase: "May I offer you one of mine?"

If you have their card, you can then avoid monopolizing their time and can follow up in a timely fashion. If you have met with someone who knows the decision-maker, spend time in conversation developing rapport. Some people are direct and ask outright for an introduction. Otherwise, you can let the person know you'd appreciate an introduction, "if it works for you." NEVER back anyone into a corner.

10. How do I bypass the gatekeepers?
Why not engage the "gatekeepers"? Treat them with interest and respect. Be nice. They're the people who can "open doors" for you as well as keep them sealed shut.

11. How do I handle the person who wants to meet with me to "pick my brain" as part of an informational interview?

What a dilemma! I launched "Pick My Brain" consulting to deal with those people who want my functioning gray matter, time, and publishing expertise at no cost: (www.pickmybrainconsulting.com). Give people 10 minutes of your help on the phone and then say, "I'm happy to coach/consult with you if you'd like to schedule an appointment."

We ought to give away a certain amount of time as a pay it forward/good karma. If you're too busy or uninterested, you may want to say, "My plate is full so I am unavailable at this time." You can reinforce this and say, "But, if you'd like to schedule an appointment…."

Or, "I belong to the National Professional Association and will be at our next meeting. If you attend, we could chat at the registration hour."

Or, "My boss frowns on using company time for informational interviews." Many bosses do as they prefer company time to be spent on work-related activities.

12. I really cannot stand "small talk". It's such meaningless drivel. Yet, most business events seem to require "phony" chatter. What can I do to avoid it and have meaningful business conversations?

"Meaningful conversations" is a great goal and opportunity for exchange. However, small talk is how we start and "melt the ice" for business conversations. It's how we get to know people, their interests, ideas, background (where they're from, went to school, hobbies, etc.). Small talk leads to big talk which can lead to big business.

TIPS FOR FACE TO FACE NETWORKING IN ANY ROOM:

• Have a 7 9 second upbeat, prepared, self introduction keyed to the event.
• Read the local and a national newspaper for 3 5 items of interest.
• LISTEN, listen, listen.
• BRING your OAR (Observe, Ask questions and Reveal).

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Susan RoAne is a professional keynote speaker for corporate and association meetings, retreats and conferences.

For more information, visit the Best-Selling Books page of this site and bookstores for her books and audiotapes.

For daily tips and strategies: Follow her at http://www.twitter.com/SusanRoAne

©RoAne2010