Bottomline on Braggarts

By Susan RoAne, The Mingling Maven®

“You got to come over and see my new (car, BMX bike, kayak, boat, horse ranch, lawnmower, home theater, plasma TV).” You can substitute any gizmo, gadget, tchotchke or THING and the sentence is the same. “Look what I own, can afford, deserve” is a mindset that I truly mind and am sooooo sick of hearing.

The flip side is the braggart who tells you about how much money they made, invested or outsmarted someone to get. It’s the ‘deal’ they negotiated though that is too classy a word for it. Haggled is a more accurate term for a game that creates winners and losers. You find the Brag Hags everywhere: in our offices, in our churches and synagogues, in our professional associations and, of course, in our families.

These people always talk about their latest exploit as if we care. I used to think this was a trait passed through the Y chromosome but not anymore. It used to be mostly males of the alpha variety that had to let us know how great they were by what they earned, charged, invested or cashed out. Androgyny has impacted the braggart gene.

Lately I hear women talk about how well they are doing, how much money they are making, their wheelings and dealings and now they talk about how smart in all of this they are.

PUH LEASE. Truly wealthy people of the old money variety do not talk about it. They don’t have to … they have it. And it is not evident in their Rolex watches, Rolls Royces and other accoutrement of $$$. They have original art. They endow. It’s much the same of truly smart people who are brilliantly intelligent. They don’t reel off their IQ numbers and tell us of their genius. Their words and actions speak of their brilliance and not always in five to seven syllable words. Out here in my part of the world, the much maligned Marin County, I hear people tell me how ‘spiritual’ they are. Believe me, if that were true I could tell on my own by the way they treat others, their empathy and good deeds.

Methinks the lads and lassies doth protest and tell too much. Why do people feel compelled to say way more than we want to hear about their success, money and toys? I posed this question to someone who has done pastoral counseling for over 30 years. His answer was illuminating, “ I don’t think these braggarts say these things to impress us; they do it to impress and convince themselves of their worth because they are not sure of it.”

---

©RoAne2005 All rights reserved under Article One, Section Eight of the US Constitution

Susan RoAne, an in-demand keynote speaker, is the author of How To Work A Room, What Do I Say Next? and How To Create Your Own Luck. She is the person who created the tipping point on the term, SCHMOOZE and is The Mingling Maven® who teaches people how to make small talk that yields big rewards. You can find her at 415 491 3915. susan@susanroane.com.

Please contact her for permission to use this article.